Trust

So as I've been praying and thinking about Portland its so easy to let my mind wander into doubt, fear, anxiety and worry. I really do trust God, yet I find myself thinking, "Is this right? Is this what I'm supposed to be doing? God, are you sure you want ME there? I am so inadequate and underqualified... God, this looks like an impossible situation. God, are you really going to provide? Are you SURE about all of this..."
Luckily, God, in his amazing awesomeness doesn't get frustrated with me. He doesn't say to me, "Aimee, we've been over this a million times..." His response to me and my worry and doubt is, "My daughter, I know you can't see all the details right now - but I've shown you your destination. You know where we are headed, but I have the map - I know how to get there. You're the passenger on this trip, just believe and trust that I know what I'm doing."
Okay, this is SO much easier said than done! This week has been rough - I'm not gonna lie. I am learning to stand upon God's word more than ever. Proverbs 3:5,6 says "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Trust in the Lord with all my heart......trust. Definitely need to do that!
Tracy was telling me about an experience she had this week where God confirmed to her heart again about Portland (its a cool story - click here to check it out). I woke up the next day anxious and a bit worried, and I asked God, "God, you gave Tracy a sign. It would be really cool if you'd give me a sign, too." Honestly, I didn't think anything of it. I didn't think He would. He has lots on his mind right now... :)
I got out of the shower, and checked my email, then I went into my room to get dressed and ready for work. I really didn't have time to watch TV, but I did just flip it on real quick for background noise (does anyone else do that...otherwise its too darn quiet in the room...). Anyway I flip on the TV and the first thing I hear is, "Portland gang violence....." Portland? Of all the channels, of all the programs, and of all the words in the english language I flip on the TV not 30 minutes after asking God for a sign about Portland - and here is a program about Portland.
I'm completely amazed by our God. I love Him. I do not know where I would be today without him. I want to serve him and give my life for him. He is my Savior and my Lord, and I will do whatever it takes to live my life for him.
I will move across this country, again. I will leave my family and wonderful friends, again. I will try my best to shine his light on the world around me. I will serve those who need to be served. I will pray for those no one else wants to pray for. I'll roll up my sleeves and get messy. I still don't know how I'm getting there - but thats okay, cause I know the destination is Portland, and He has the map!